Dinner
by Kassandra Black
Summary: Shenko fluff! Follow up to "Elevator". Shepard and Kaidan decide to take their friends' advice as they head off to dinner.
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: Yay, who's hungry 'cause it's time for dinner! So, this is a follow up to "Elevator". There are a few references to that story, but there's no need to read it to understand what's going on. Also, I've been trying to keep the description of Shepard very vague, but I did mention a couple of things pertaining to her appearance. Oh, and I'm going to pretend that the SR-1 has bathrooms/showers off to the sides of the sleeper pods. I hope you all enjoy this little bit of fluff!**_

_**Bioware owns all.**_

* * *

Shepard shot a quick glance in the mirror to make sure her bun was still in place before walking out into her room. She sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled on her boots. As she was working the laces, the door chimed. She looked up in time to see Ashley and Tali make their way into her room, arms laden with bags. She raised an eyebrow at them. What the hell…

"Here," Ashley said, throwing her a bag of cookies. "It's from Joker's stash."

"Um…okay…" Shepard said, catching the bag deftly in her hands. She watched curiously as they both sat down on the floor and began rummaging through the bags. "Uh…not that I don't want you guys in my room right now, but what the hell are you doing here?"

They both stopped long enough to look up at her. Ashley stood up and slowly made her way to the bed, making sure to sit as far away from Shepard as possible.

"Now, don't get mad," Ashley began, holding her hands up in defense.

"That's never a good way to start an explanation, Chief," Shepard said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I know, it's just…well, you see…"

"We're here to give you a make-over," Tali interrupted. Ashley shot her a glare, and Tali just shrugged. "What? She was going to figure it out sooner or later."

Shepard let out a frustrated sigh. She had been afraid of this. Why did everybody on the freakin' ship feel like they needed to "help" her?

"I see," she said, grabbing the bottle of painkillers Dr. Chakwas had given her and popping back two pills. "And the cookies?"

"They're for you to eat right now," Ashley said, still staring cautiously at her.

Shepard knitted her brows together in confusion. "You _do_ know I'm going to dinner, right?"

"That's…why…I – I mean…"

"Keelah! Ashley, just spit it out!" Tali said, throwing her arms up in exasperation. She stood up and made her way over to Shepard. "Look, Shepard, I don't want to be mean, but you need some serious help."

Shepard snorted back a laugh. She got up to take a peek inside the bags and noticed that they were filled with various articles of clothing.

"Oh, _hell_, no," she said, reaching in to pull out a garment that couldn't possibly be considered a dress – or anything, really. "I'm not wearing any of _that_," she pointed vaguely to the clothes-filled bags, "I'm perfectly comfortable with what I have on, thank you very much."

This time, it was Ashley's turn to snort. "Fatigues and combat boots? You can't be serious, skipper."

"Deadly serious," Shepard stated, grabbing her pistol and tucking it behind her back into the waistband of her pants.

The door to her room chimed again, and Dr. Chakwas walked in carrying a bottle of brandy.

Shepard gaped at her. "What is it with everybody on the ship just waltzing into my room? Why even bother ringing damn doorbell?"

"I see you two told her about the make-over," Dr. Chakwas said, unfazed at Shepard's ire.

"Help me out here, doc," Shepard pleaded. "Please tell them that I look perfectly fine with what I'm wearing."

Chakwas squinted her eyes at her. "Do you want the truth?"

"Jesus, guys! It's not _that_ bad, is it?" She stole another glance at the mirror. Surely they were exaggerating. Her shirt and pants were ironed perfectly, her hair pulled back into her usual 'do. Hell, she had even shined her boots. She looked damn good. So just why in the world were Chakwas, Tali and Ashley looking at her like she was crazy?

Ashley cleared her throat as Dr. Chakwas poured herself some brandy. "You're not going on duty, skipper, you're going on a date."

Shepard rolled her eyes not bothering to remind them, for the millionth time, that this was not a date. "Where the hell did you guys get all this stuff anyway?"

"Ashley contacted several stores on the station. Let's just say they were eager to service the 'Great Commander Shepard' and sent over a few samples," Tali answered before squealing in delight. "Oooh, this is nice! You should wear this."

She held up a thin strip of fabric that Shepard could not, for the life of her, figure out what it was. She frowned, cocking her head to the side as Tali held it out in front of her. Well, whatever it was, it was _not_ going on her body.

Shepard grabbed the brandy from Chakwas and took a swig before placing it back in the doctor's hands and plopping herself on the bed with a loud groan. She rubbed her hands over her face. This was ridiculous! She admitted to herself that it had been a while – a long while – since she had gone out. And, okay, maybe she did need a little bit of makeup to cover the huge bruise that still covered her face from when Kaidan had elbowed her. And she did see a nice top when she had peeked into the bags. Maybe she could do with a change of shirt. But, what was up with eating cookies before going out to dinner? Was it some kind of secret rule or something that all women did?

She sat up and resigned herself to let her friends help her. Ashley and Tali sat cross-legged on the floor amidst the piles of clothing.

"Here we go," Ashley said. "This looks decent."

"Hmm, yes," Tali agreed. "The skirt will show off her legs. Please tell me you shaved your legs, Shepard."

Shepard shot Tali a glare. "Just because I'm not all girly doesn't mean I don't shave."

"Yeah, about that," Ashley began, "I think it would be a good idea to do that. Be girly I mean. I think Kaidan would like that."

"Are you fu-frickin' kidding me?"

"And you have to tone down on your swearing, too."

"So says the woman who knows every colorful word in the book," Shepard spat out.

"Don't forget to eat the cookies," Tali added.

"Okay, what is the deal with the cookies? Why are they so important that I have to eat them right now?"

"So you won't eat as much during dinner," Tali said simply.

"And what does that have to do with anything?"

"Shepard, have you ever noticed how much you eat?" Chakwas asked, pouring herself another good serving of brandy. "If it wasn't for the fact that I read your medical chart, I would have thought you were a biotic."

"I need the calories!" Shepard protested. "Between the combat and my high metabolism, I need food to give me energy."

Ashley opened up the bag of cookies and offered it to her. Shepard hesitated slightly and then reached into the bag.

"Ugh! Fine!" Shepard said between bites. "If it will get you guys to leave me alone, then just do what you have to do."

Even through the mask, Shepard could see the huge grin on Tali's face.

"Oh, and Shepard?" Chakwas drank back the last of the brandy that had been in her glass. "Contrary to what you believe, this _is_ a date."

* * *

"And don't pull any of that 'I'm a nice guy, I'll let you choose everything' crap," Joker said, leaning back against the sink of the men's restroom. "Chicks hate that. They want for you to take charge. Take the bull by the horns sort-of-thing."

Kaidan took his eyes off of his reflection in the large mirror just long enough to send Joker a frowning glance. Well, that was going to be difficult considering Shepard was a take charge kind of woman.

"And for the love of everything holy, pretend that you're not interested in her," Joker continued.

"What?" Kaidan whipped around to face Joker. "I think, after that kiss, I showed her that I'm interested in her."

Joker held out his hands as if Kaidan had just made a valid point. "_Exactly_. Now she's going to walk all over you because she knows that you would do anything for her. You can't have her doing that to you, man. Not this early in the relationship."

Kaidan didn't really see how any of what Joker was saying made any sense. To him, it was simple. He was a gentleman, and he was definitely interested in Shepard. Why would he pretend otherwise?

"Joker, I don't see how – "

"Trust me, Kaidan. Just do what I tell you, and she'll be putty in your hands. It works every time."

At this, Kaidan raised his eyebrow. "And just how many times have you tried your own advice?"

"Not the point," Joker said with a glare. "Look, Kaidan, you saw what being yourself got you. Absolutely nothing. You think too much, that's your problem."

Kaidan opened his mouth to protest and then closed it. Well, Joker was right on that account. He _was_ the kind of person to think carefully before he did anything.

"But what happened when you finally decided to take charge, huh?" Joker poked Kaidan's ribs with his elbow and wagged his eyebrows. "You finally got to kiss her, you dog, you."

Kaidan couldn't help but grin at that statement. Yes, that was true. It took him a while to work up the nerve to actually kiss her, but when he had finally done it, it had felt so good. Like he was free of any restraints…like he could do anything and get away with it.

"So, anyway, my point is that you have to act the complete opposite of how you really are so that she can like you."

"Okay, I can understand that, but how is my ignoring her going to get her to like me? Won't that just cause _her_ to lose interest in _me_?"

Joker let out a melodramatic sigh. "Kaidan, Kaidan, Kaidan. Don't you know anything about women? If she thinks that you're not interested in her, she's only going to try harder to get you to like her." He paused for a moment and looked around them, making sure that there was no one in the bathroom with them. His voice dropped down to a whisper. "Look, I can help you out with that."

"But how – "

"Shhh!" Joker hissed. "These bathrooms are way too close to Shepard's cabin. I don't want her to overhear what I'm about to tell you."

Kaidan shook his head at Joker's statement. He highly doubted Shepard could hear their conversation no matter how close they were to her room. Still, he decided to play along for Joker's sake.

"Fine, what is it?"

"We're going to pretend you have another date."

"What?" Kaidan's voice echoed loudly in the room.

"Shhh! Look, halfway through your date I'm going to send a message to your omnitool. You're just going to have to pretend that there is another girl waiting for you after your dinner with Shepard. The thought of you having someone else will make her so jealous that she's going to do everything in her power to 'accommodate' you, if you know what I mean." Another wag of the eyebrows.

"No. Joker this isn't right. I can't do that to her. I can't just lie or pretend to be someone I'm not."

"Do you want Shepard or not?"

"Well, yeah, but – "

"Then you have to do what I tell you. Trust me, Kaidan. By the end of the night, Shepard will be so in love with you, you're going to have a hard time keeping her off you."


	2. Chapter 2

_Act girly, no swearing, don't fall_, Shepard kept repeating to herself as she slowly made her way out of her room. The trip to the CIC usually only took her a few minutes, but with the ridiculously high heels she was wearing, it was going to take her half an hour just to get to the airlock.

_How could I have let them talk me into this_, she thought bitterly. Her top hung off one shoulder showing off too much skin for her liking, her skirt was too short, and those damned heels were a pain to walk in. Not to mention the make up that had been caked on her face. Though it did a pretty good job of hiding her bruise, she still felt like Tali and Ashley had overdone it. At least her shirt was loose enough to hide her pistol behind her back. As much as Tali and Ashley (Chakwas had already passed out from too much brandy) tried to get her to leave her pistol, Shepard would not budge. Her outfit might make her look practically naked, but, without her pistol, she _was_ naked.

She let out a groan when she reached the stairs leading up to the top deck. At this rate, it was going to take her all night just to reach the damn airlock. Taking a deep breath, she pressed down the sides of her skirt and set herself to the long task of climbing up the stairs.

* * *

Kaidan paced the cockpit. He felt like he was going to be sick.

"Calm down, Kaidan. You're making _me_ nervous, and I'm the one staying behind," Joker said, turning around in his chair to face him.

Kaidan resisted the urge to run his hands through his hair, finally settling them at his sides as he leaned against the wall. He was nervous enough talking to Shepard in front of others, he couldn't even fathom how he was going to be when it was just the two of them.

He still wasn't sure about Joker's advice. More than anything, he wasn't sure if he could pull it off.

"Joker, I still don't know if I can – "

Joker held up his hand to silence Kaidan. "Don't. Worry. About. It," he said, emphasizing every word. "I told you, I'll take care of everything. Just go and enjoy a nice dinner. I'll message you when the time is right."

Kaidan was about to say something when he heard chattering from the CIC. Curious, he stepped away from the wall to see what the commotion was.

* * *

_You can do this, Shepard! Act girly, no swearing, don't fall._

She was so preoccupied looking down so she wouldn't fall that she didn't notice the stares that she was getting from all the crewmembers. The maxim that she kept repeating to herself blocked out all the whispers. Her main focus was to get to the airlock in one piece.

_Act girly, no swearing, don't fall. Act girly, no swearing, don't fall._

She reached the steps that led up to the gangway, and she paused with a small frown. This ship had way too many steps. She went through the same routine as when she climbed the steps up to the CIC. Very demurely, she held down her skirt and proceeded to climb up onto the gangway.

Kaidan had been watching Shepard since she had first appeared on the CIC. At first, he hadn't been sure if it was her or not. She kept her head down and was still so far away that Kaidan had to squint to make her out clearly. As she got closer, however, there was no mistaking that it was really Shepard. She might be dressed differently, but Kaidan was already familiar with the contours of her body.

She seemed to be whispering something to herself. He couldn't make out what she was saying, but he could tell that it was something she was extremely focused on. It wasn't until she (finally) made her way up the steps leading to the gangway that she looked up.

Shepard chanced a peek at the cockpit, and noticed Kaidan standing next to Joker. She suddenly forgot to breathe. Kaidan looked like a Greek god. His slacks clung perfectly to his waist. The shirt he was wearing hugged his muscles. She longed to reach out and lose herself in his touch again.

Kaidan's breath hitched. He always knew Shepard was beautiful. But seeing her dressed the way she was made his heart pound in his chest. Her long toned legs were accented by her shoes and skirt. Her flawless skin emitted a golden glow, and her hair was let loose, soft tendrils framing her face.

She couldn't move. She could feel her face getting warm at Kaidan's approving look. Maybe wearing this outfit had been a good idea after all. A surge of self confidence went through her. She could do this! She could make this work.

Without breaking eye contact with Kaidan, she began walking toward him. One hand on her hip, the other swaying in time with her steps, she strutted up the gangway. A smile curved into the corner of her mouth. This was easy! This was –

"Aaaggghhhh!"

One of her heels got caught in the grate of the gangway causing her to lose her balance. She fell forward, one knee slamming into the metal grate as she put out her hands to break the rest of her fall.

"Son of a – mmpphh!" She bit down on that last word, sitting down and inspecting the injury on her knee. She didn't care that her skirt had hiked its way up exposing her upper thighs. She didn't care that she had practically mooned everybody on her way to the floor. So much for acting girly.

"Shepard!" Kaidan ran out to pick her up. That had been a nasty fall. He could still hear the sickening crunch of her knee hitting the metal grate.

Shepard took a few seconds to calm herself for fear of letting out a string of expletives. Although, her knee didn't look any worse for the wear, she could practically feel the bruise forming around her kneecap already. She let out a breath, cursing Ashley and Tali in her mind for making her wear those ridiculous shoes and having to behave like a "lady".

Kaidan knelt in front of Shepard and put his hands on her knee. He saw her wince, but he examined her all the same. She was tough. Any other person would have probably split their knee open after that fall. Shepard would probably only have a slight bruise.

"You okay?" he asked softly, trying to ignore the exposed skin of her thighs.

"Yeah," Shepard said, though her knee was still throbbing in pain. "I'll be fine. Are you ready to go?"

Kaidan nodded, standing up and then reaching down to pick her up. He placed a hand on the small of her back as they made their way out of the ship.

"You two kids have a great time," Joker called out, watching them leave. He turned around and then hacked into the space station's surveillance cameras.

Shepard and Kaidan weren't going to get off that easy. He needed to spy on them to make sure everything went according to plan. He told Kaidan he would take care of everything and that was exactly what he was going to do.


	3. Chapter 3

"And so that was the mission I got promoted to an N7," Shepard said, pushing around the food on her plate with her fork.

"Oh, uh-huh," Kaidan said absentmindedly, looking down, yet again, at his omnitool. Keeping true to Joker's "rules", Kaidan had been ignoring everything Shepard had been saying. Of course, he actually hadn't meant to ignore her. He had been so preoccupied thinking about the message he was going to get from Joker that he was inadvertently dismissing Shepard's conversation.

Shepard narrowed her eyes at Kaidan and fought the urge to smack him upside the head. Was she really that boring? She thought her N missions were rather exciting and something Kaidan would have been interested in hearing. Instead, he kept glancing at his omnitool every five seconds for God knows what.

She sighed and glanced around the restaurant. Coppia's was every bit as Kaidan had described it. Far away from the bustle of the station, the Italian bistro held a very romantic appeal. Too bad the romance didn't extend to them. She still wasn't sure what to make of the lieutenant. His kiss had certainly awakened _something_ inside of her, and she had been sure he felt the same way.

But it was like the kiss never happened. Other than the hot look he gave her when she had stepped on the gangway back on the ship, he had hardly spared a glance at her. She had understood that maybe he was nervous. Hell, she was more than a bit jittery herself, but at least she was making at attempt at conversation. One would have thought her fall back on the ship would have broken the ice.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" Kaidan asked, finally looking up.

"I was just…you know what…it's nothing, never mind," Shepard said, looking back down at her plate. "It seems you have other _important_ matters on your mind."

She hadn't meant to say that last part. She certainly didn't want to sound like a whiny date who needed the attention. And yet here she was doing just that. Man, she needed to loosen up. She grabbed her glass and downed her wine in one drink.

Shepard was starting to sound a bit impatient, and Kaidan couldn't blame her. They were halfway through their meal, and he hadn't said more than a few words to her. Apart from being nervous at being alone with her, he was also extremely nervous about Joker's plan. He could feel a blush creeping into his face.

"I'm sorry," he said again, sheepishly. "I'm supposed to meet someone for drinks later and they were supposed to message me the time to meet them."

Shepard paused, the food halfway to her mouth. Suddenly, she wasn't so hungry anymore. Meet someone? As in another date? She knew had no right to be asking him the million questions that were running through her mind. Just like she had no right to feel jealous. It's not like her and Kaidan were dating. She didn't want him to think that, after one kiss, she was suddenly madly in love with him. Because she wasn't.

"I see," she replied for lack of anything else to say, placing the pasta entwined fork back down onto her plate.

That was all she had to say? Kaidan was expecting a huge outburst from her. He had specifically left out the gender of this certain someone that he was supposedly meeting so that she would be curious. It looked like she could care less. Didn't Joker say she was going to get extremely jealous? Maybe Shepard didn't like him as much as he thought she did.

As much as Shepard tried to act as nonchalant as possible, her heart betrayed how she really felt. Angry, confused…and, yeah okay, even a little jealous. She wanted to yell at Kaidan to have fun with his date and then stalk out of the restaurant. Hell, had it been up to her, she would have left this farce of a date from the moment he had opened up his omnitool. But, noooo, she had to act the lady and be polite and hold in all the curse words that were threatening to spill out of her mouth.

The sound of a small ping caught both their attentions. Kaidan quickly opened up his omnitool and read through the message.

_Golden Chalice nightclub. Take Shepard with you._

What? This wasn't part of the plan. Suddenly, Kaidan didn't like where this was going. It was supposed to be simple. Tell Shepard he was meeting another girl, make her insanely jealous, then choose Shepard over pretend girl to make her believe that he only cared for Shepard. According to Joker, the plan was flawless. And now, he was changing it.

Kaidan felt out of his element. He knew he should just ignore Joker and start all over again with Shepard. But she was acting unnaturally different. Her clothing and make up, her entire persona was not that of Shepard, but of another woman that he did not know. She hadn't even cursed once!

"Your friend?" Shepard asked, breaking Kaidan from his thoughts. She had tried to keep the bitterness from her voice, but she could still hear a hint of it. Come on, Shepard, don't be the jealous, clingy girl that everyone hates! If Kaidan has other plans, then what's it to you?

"Yeah, my…uh…friend," Kaidan said, still trying to figure out what Joker was up to. "Why don't you join me? Are you up for a drink at the Golden Chalice?"

Shepard's heart did a little flip, and it took all she had not to grin like an idiot. How could she have been so stupid! Of course Kaidan wouldn't be meeting another girl. He was too much of a gentleman to even be thinking about doing that. She berated herself for judging him so harshly. She had automatically assumed that he was meeting a girl for drinks when all this time, he was actually meeting a male friend of his.

At least that's what she thought. He wouldn't have invited her otherwise, right?

She gave him a small smile. "I would love to join you. I-I mean, if you're sure I won't be in the way."

Kaidan returned her smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. He definitely didn't like where this was going. "No, no problem. You won't be in the way at all."

* * *

Joker had almost fallen asleep watching Kaidan and Shepard throughout dinner. That had to be the most awkward meal he had ever seen. Shepard had rambled non-stop about her missions in the special forces and Kaidan had been pointedly ignoring her.

Joker had deliberately stalled his message to Kaidan just to see how much more uncomfortable it could get. Apparently, those two were the epitome of awkwardness. It was so funny to see how on the battlefield, they were so comfortable with each other, sometimes to the point of almost reading each other's minds. Yet, leave them alone together, and they each acted like a lovesick teenager. Joker had been privy to many one-on-one moments between them that left them obviously wanting more.

He had been extremely disappointed when Shepard hadn't shown any reaction to Kaidan's outburst of meeting someone else. He had expected the usual Shepard anger, that everyone knew and loved, to show itself. Unfortunately, she was acting strangely quiet. She was behaving even. Something Joker didn't think would ever be possible.

Well, stranger things have happened. Like Kaidan finally getting over his nerve and kissing her in front of everyone. Lucky bastard won everyone's credits after they had all bet against him. Joker chuckled to himself and shook his head.

Well, what he had planned would almost certainly make Shepard lose her temper. He was sure of it. He set up to link into the cameras to the nightclub he had mentioned to Kaidan. He scanned the images until he found what he was looking for. Good, everything was in place.

Now to sit back, relax and watch everything unfold. He leaned back and linked his hands behind his head. Things were about to get good.


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN: Big apology for the really late update! Here's the finale to Dinner. Hope you enjoy!**_

_**Special thanks to sesheta255, who got me off my butt, and to quantumparadigm, for all those great messages! :D**_

_**

* * *

**_

Kaidan visibly blanched when he saw the "place" where he was meeting this mysterious friend. What had he gotten himself into? Or rather, what had Joker gotten him into?

"_This_ is where you're meeting your friend?" Shepard asked, not even trying to hide the surprise in her voice.

Unbearably loud music escaped through the doors of the Golden Chalice as soon as they were open. The smell of stale alcohol and cheap perfume permeated the air. The place reminded Shepard of Chora's Den, with the exception that the "dancers" here wore golden colored…outfits, for lack of a better word.

"I – uh…" Kaidan was at a loss for words. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He should've known Joker would send him to a gentleman's club. The more embarrassing, the better as far as Joker was concerned. "Shepard, I – "

But whatever Kaidan had been about to say was cut off by a shrill voice calling him name.

"Kaidan! Over here!" the voice called out.

Shepard followed the voice to a group of three women sitting in a booth nearby. Two were giggling and whispering to each other while the third made her way over to Kaidan. Shepard disliked her immediately. There was something about the woman that made her cringe. She couldn't be Kaidan's friend, she just couldn't…

"I'm glad you could make it," the woman said, hugging Kaidan's arm to her chest. "Got here just in time, too. We should be going on stage in about twenty minutes. Prepared a show just for you."

Kaidan could feel his face turning red, and he was thankful for the dimness of the club. Shepard had been unnaturally quiet so far, and he could only guess what was going through her mind. This wasn't him. He wasn't the type of person to visit these kinds of clubs, let alone be friends with the…workers. He had to stop this charade.

"I'm sorry, but I – "

"Don't be sorry, sweetie," the woman interjected, now placing a hand on his cheek. "You got here, and that's what's important. Come on, let's go sit down with the girls."

Shepard cleared her throat rather loudly hoping to get their attention. She had half a mind to just pull out her pistol and shoot the woman, but she restrained herself. Barely.

Not that it would have mattered anyway. The woman dragged Kaidan over to the booth, leaving her standing alone. Shepard didn't know whether to follow them or leave, and, seeing how half the night Kaidan had blatantly ignored her, she decided for the latter. She wasn't one for theatrics, especially when it was obvious that Kaidan probably wouldn't care less if she left or not.

Shepard made her way out of the club, stopping only long enough to remove her shoes. The damn heels were a pain in the ass, and she was glad to be rid of them. She didn't care that she was walking barefoot through the space station. All she wanted was to find a quiet place where she could just sit and think about the many ways she could kill Tali and Ashley for making her into something she was not.

Kaidan was pushed into the booth with the other women who immediately sat closer to him and began to caress his arms. He glanced around him looking for Shepard. He thought that she had been right behind them, but it seemed she had disappeared.

Kaidan could feel the guilt creeping into his heart. And why wouldn't she leave? He had ignored her all throughout dinner, taken her to a strip club, and had watched him leave to sit with the dancers. Hell, _he_ was even disgusted with himself.

All he wanted was a nice, quiet dinner with the one woman he really cared for. And he had messed it all up.

He slid out of the booth, not even offering any sort of apology to the women sitting there. He needed to find Shepard, explain to her that it was all a big misunderstanding. He practically ran out of the club, hoping to maybe catch her if she was still around. But no matter which way he looked, the woman that he wanted, that he _needed_, was nowhere to be found. He clicked on his comm unit.

"Joker," he said, walking around aimlessly. "Where is she? Where's Shepard?"

He knew the pilot could track her through her own comm unit. If there was someone who knew where everyone was at all times, it was Joker.

"I know you can hear me, you bastard," Kaidan hissed into his comm. "You owe me. Tell me where she is."

His comm unit fizzed, and Kaidan heard what sounded like a bored groan.

"_Alright, alright,"_ Joker's voice finally came on. _"Just keep walking back to the _Normandy_. She's sitting on a bench just south of the ship. You can't miss her."_

He broke into a run, wondering briefly how Shepard had gotten that far in so short a time. His mind went through every excuse imaginable, but, in the end, he acknowledged that his behavior had been inexcusable.

He slowed to a walk, when he noticed her sitting by herself on the bench Joker had mentioned. Her shoes had been discarded and were lying off to the side. Her body was turned away from him, looking up at the great expanse of space. He approached her carefully, not sure how she was going to react…and even more unsure of what he was going to say. Maybe he didn't have to say anything…

Shepard heard footsteps approaching, and she quickly stood, swiveling her pistol around and pointing it at whoever had decided it would be a good idea to disturb her. She frowned slightly at Kaidan's presence, but she didn't put her pistol down.

Kaidan stopped at the sight of the pistol, raising his arms in defense. But it wasn't the pistol he was staring at. He took his time staring at Shepard, starting at her bare feet, then moving up her long legs , and finally stopping when he reached her eyes.

She looked slightly uncomfortable at his gawking, but he couldn't help it. She looked so femme fatale, standing there in a fighting stance with her gun pulled out.

They stayed that way for a few minutes. Each just staring at the other, trying to figure out what the next move should be. Kaidan knew that no matter what he said, it wouldn't make a difference. To Shepard, actions often spoke louder than words.

And so he decided to act. He closed the distance between them in two strides, one hand caressing the back of her neck while the other circled firmly around her waist.

Shepard was too stunned to move. Even as Kaidan's mouth found hers, it took a while for her mind to work out that he was trying to kiss her. She was still angry at his behavior, but at the same time, she couldn't deny the warm feelings that were gathering at the pit of her stomach. She opened her mouth, reluctantly at first. Then, as his tongue began to explore hers, she lost herself to his touch.

The pistol she had been holding slipped from her hand. She vaguely remembered that she had left the safety on as it clattered to the floor. Her arms slid around his neck, bringing him closer to her.

There was no audience this time. No catcalling or "wooing" from the rest of crew. It was just Shepard and Kaidan finally enjoying time alone, away from everything, and everyone, else.

Finally, Kaidan broke away from the kiss. He looked down at Shepard, sliding his fingers across her face as he tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. He still needed to apologize. Even he wasn't as naïve to think a kiss would make the night they had just experienced go away.

"I – ", but his apology faltered as she put a finger to his lips and shook her head.

"I think both of us let ourselves get influenced by others tonight," Shepard whispered, moving her hand back behind his neck. "How about we start over…just the two of us?"

The corner of Kaidan's mouth turned up into a grin. "Is that an order, Commander?" he asked gruffly.

"Just shut up and kiss me."

* * *

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how it's done," Joker said, linking his fingers together and placing his hands behind his head.

"Pffft. You mean, how it's _not_ done," Ashley replied, grabbing the last bag of potato chips from Joker's cubby hole.

"I agree," Tali added. "That could have gone very badly. What were you thinking sending them to a strip club?"

"Oh, please," Joker swiveled his chair around to look at the group that had gathered around the cockpit again. "You say it like it's a bad thing. The point is that they got together. Isn't that what we all wanted?"

"There were better ways to do it, Jeff," Chakwas piped in as she reached over for some chips.

"Yeah, like not messing with them in the first place," Ash crunched away.

"You're one to talk," Joker retorted before turning his voice up an octave. "_'You have to be girly, don't swear'_. Geez, _you're_ the reason my plan almost didn't work."

"Alright, that's enough," Pressly interrupted. "Everyone back to their stations. The show's over. Besides, a fair warning, don't be expecting this kind of behavior to happen again."

Joker cocked an eyebrow at him, and sat up straighter. "How much do you wanna bet?"


End file.
